Prodding at vipers
Mar. 1st, 2004 05:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
urocyonThe Imp of the Perverse is dancing all over me right now. I am having the most compelling urge to include my biological father in the wedding invitation list.
A bit of background: I haven't seen nor heard from him in almost 18 years, since he took off to avoid being forced to pay child support arrears upward of $20,000 at that point (besides full medical and educational costs), and likely for other reasons. He did not exactly treat me well for years before that--think untreated paranoid manic behavior--and we are not supposed to know where he is now.
However, we have had a good idea for most of this time, and I have an address which was current as of a couple of years ago; it pays to keep track of some people. This address may well still be good.
His receiving something from me (under my changed name, no less) out of the blue would be priceless. Too bad I couldn't witness the reaction, though being out of the country would be preferable for a number of reasons when poking at a venomous snake. It must be said that there is next to no chance that he would actually turn up, thank goodness, or I wouldn't even consider it.
I couldn't help mentioning this idea to my mother, who was also tickled at the idea. She did raise the possibilities that (a) he might actually think I like or have forgiven him, and that (b) he might try to hit me up for money--which would seem more likely, given past behavior.
I think it is probably a risk worth taking, though, considering that I have no intention of letting him know where I am actually living--it's not cowardly, to my mind, if it's reasonable self-protection--and that I am old and hardened enough to deal with anything he decides to put out. I may not actually do this, but the shock value is terribly difficult to resist. He is guaranteed to turn up like a bad penny at some point anyway, likely when something bad enough happens to my Nana, and I would rather take some control over resuming contact than be shocked myself.
A bit of background: I haven't seen nor heard from him in almost 18 years, since he took off to avoid being forced to pay child support arrears upward of $20,000 at that point (besides full medical and educational costs), and likely for other reasons. He did not exactly treat me well for years before that--think untreated paranoid manic behavior--and we are not supposed to know where he is now.
However, we have had a good idea for most of this time, and I have an address which was current as of a couple of years ago; it pays to keep track of some people. This address may well still be good.
His receiving something from me (under my changed name, no less) out of the blue would be priceless. Too bad I couldn't witness the reaction, though being out of the country would be preferable for a number of reasons when poking at a venomous snake. It must be said that there is next to no chance that he would actually turn up, thank goodness, or I wouldn't even consider it.
I couldn't help mentioning this idea to my mother, who was also tickled at the idea. She did raise the possibilities that (a) he might actually think I like or have forgiven him, and that (b) he might try to hit me up for money--which would seem more likely, given past behavior.
I think it is probably a risk worth taking, though, considering that I have no intention of letting him know where I am actually living--it's not cowardly, to my mind, if it's reasonable self-protection--and that I am old and hardened enough to deal with anything he decides to put out. I may not actually do this, but the shock value is terribly difficult to resist. He is guaranteed to turn up like a bad penny at some point anyway, likely when something bad enough happens to my Nana, and I would rather take some control over resuming contact than be shocked myself.
