urocyon: Grey fox crossing a stream (Default)
[personal profile] urocyon
I am trying not to get too worked up, not wanting to turn into the Petty Neighborhood Crank, but I'm definitely irritated right now.

New Upstairs Neighbor has been dropping more food wrappers onto our walled patio. This is the second day in a row I've had to pick them up. He goes out on his deck/balcony with his phone and some snack food, then just throws the wrappers over the side. I've seen him out there eating stuff, right above where I keep finding rubbish. It seems highly unlikely that passers by are venturing off the sidewalk and across our parking area just to put trash over or under our gate. It hasn't blown in.

This would not be nearly as aggravating if he weren't the same one who called the council in over our messy patio.

It's hard not to see some jerky passive-aggressive behavior there. I was hoping he'd stop it once things were cleaned up, but apparently not. I guess he has to punish us for making him call the council. Or something. I would be more willing to attribute it to carelessness if he didn't keep waiting until (a) he's seen one of us outside, and (b) nobody is looking, to throw his crap off the deck. More than once, I've gone inside for a few minutes, with him on the deck, then come back to find trash out there.

In a way, it's darkly amusing in its lack of subtlety.

[personal profile] vatine was half-tempted to put the last crisp packet through his letterbox, but I don't want to escalate things, especially while dealing with someone who's already demonstrated a lousy style of dealing with conflict. That kind of response is probably more what he expects. I've just been trying not to gnash my teeth too much, and chucking his wrappers over the wall into his own garden, where they would have landed if our patio weren't there.

Ah well. I really don't want to let this have the intended annoying effect. Having lived with controlling, passive-aggressive people, I have a little more compassion (talk about making your own life miserable!), but am also even more prone to irritation at that kind of behavior. I can't say I'll be sorry to move away from this guy's pettiness. It's too easy to start feeling similarly petty, and that's one hell of a way to live.

The whole "call the council" strategy made me think of a semi-interesting piece I ran across yesterday: Feeling for the Edge of your Imagination: finding ways not to call the police.

I am trying to bear in mind that I've got some extra tendency toward hostility going here, thanks to the mismatch in conditioned responses to the idea of calling in *any* authorities. Still, I really wish more people would stop and think about what they are doing.

Date: 2010-04-17 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beingjdc.livejournal.com
Thanks for this. Basically, people are annoying. A solution could make the person who finds it a hero and/or millionaire. That blog haven't approved my comment from the other day about how the last time I called the police was when a woman of colour was being threatened with rape by a white man, and how the consequence was that he heard me calling them and ran away, and she didn't get raped. I can't imagine why.

Date: 2010-04-18 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] urocyon-c.livejournal.com
Yeah, unfortunately the best solution would be for people to stop acting like jerks. That's not going to happen anytime soon.

In the kind of situation you're describing, with someone in immediate danger, I'd consider it totally reasonable to call the cops. I'd be at least as likely to intervene directly and likely end up getting beaten up at best--not that I'm recommending that approach, mind. :)

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