A nice reversal
Apr. 15th, 2003 07:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
urocyonYesterday my mother made me slightly angry by suggesting that it might not be the best decision for me to continue going out with younger men. Once or twice was one thing (particularly if one was in Lexington, which struck me as odd), but my planning to go out with another (21, this time) was a bit much. I'm still not sure what she was thinking there, but I didn't like it one bit. It also surprised me, because she tends to be quite tolerant and nonjudgmental unless serious ethical problems are involved. (We're also too much alike for my taste at times, which is generally fine but can lead to trouble; imagine two alpha females, both of whom are incapable of backing down, sharing close quarters.)
Then, strangely for her (she also has a bit of trouble apologising sometimes), when I told her I was going out with Barry and was getting ready to leave, she did offer an apology. She said she'd thought about it more and was wrong in judging like that. Per her general approach, my being happy is the most important thing. This did make me feel a lot better about things; I could tell she didn't really approve (beyond my seeing Alex on a lark) even before she said anything about it.
This also reminds me: I'm not about to drive up and see Alex again. Besides his cancelling on me twice--at least before I hit the road--it seems that my initial reaction was pretty well on the mark. Note to self: trust your instincts more and stop rationalising around them. After the polite, pleasant first date, when he was even hesitant to hug me goodnight, his courtesy level definitely changed. In our last IM session, he got just plain raunchy and offensive, even going to the point of suggesting that we get a room and I bring a friend along next time (or, failing that, he'd bring one of his friends). Nothing I said prompted any of this, either, not that it matters when someone's inner boor starts showing. This very gradually progressed over the last few chats until I got to the seething point Sunday--and I know it was Alex doing the typing, and not his roommate or someone having me on, because I recognised his style. He's lucky I didn't go up there with the result a friend suggested, "And so the McCraw boot descended on his backside?". ;)
Then, strangely for her (she also has a bit of trouble apologising sometimes), when I told her I was going out with Barry and was getting ready to leave, she did offer an apology. She said she'd thought about it more and was wrong in judging like that. Per her general approach, my being happy is the most important thing. This did make me feel a lot better about things; I could tell she didn't really approve (beyond my seeing Alex on a lark) even before she said anything about it.
This also reminds me: I'm not about to drive up and see Alex again. Besides his cancelling on me twice--at least before I hit the road--it seems that my initial reaction was pretty well on the mark. Note to self: trust your instincts more and stop rationalising around them. After the polite, pleasant first date, when he was even hesitant to hug me goodnight, his courtesy level definitely changed. In our last IM session, he got just plain raunchy and offensive, even going to the point of suggesting that we get a room and I bring a friend along next time (or, failing that, he'd bring one of his friends). Nothing I said prompted any of this, either, not that it matters when someone's inner boor starts showing. This very gradually progressed over the last few chats until I got to the seething point Sunday--and I know it was Alex doing the typing, and not his roommate or someone having me on, because I recognised his style. He's lucky I didn't go up there with the result a friend suggested, "And so the McCraw boot descended on his backside?". ;)