Self-kindness, simply stated
Mar. 1st, 2004 05:53 pmI'm too hard on myself. If I were even one-twentieth as judgmental toward other people, I'd be hellish to be around.
The vast majority of the time, I do the best that I can, which really is good enough. The only person I seem to disappoint consistently is myself; what better evidence that I should be kinder to myself? Expecting more out of myself in any area than out of any of the people I know and love is unreasonable and harmful.
It's OK that I'm not able to work right now. It doesn't mean I'm some sort of lazy leech; I, of all people, would do so were I able. Beating myself up over being ill is unhelpful and cruel. Nobody else is nearly so harsh, but overwhelmingly understanding. Even consciously rejecting consumerism and materialism as life motivations, I seem to judge my worth far too much through "making something of myself". This, too, is harmful, and contradicts my preferred values.
In summary, I need to learn to be as caring, understanding, and supportive toward myself as toward other people.
All this may sound very simplistic and unnecessary to state, but maybe reinforcing it in writing here will help.
The vast majority of the time, I do the best that I can, which really is good enough. The only person I seem to disappoint consistently is myself; what better evidence that I should be kinder to myself? Expecting more out of myself in any area than out of any of the people I know and love is unreasonable and harmful.
It's OK that I'm not able to work right now. It doesn't mean I'm some sort of lazy leech; I, of all people, would do so were I able. Beating myself up over being ill is unhelpful and cruel. Nobody else is nearly so harsh, but overwhelmingly understanding. Even consciously rejecting consumerism and materialism as life motivations, I seem to judge my worth far too much through "making something of myself". This, too, is harmful, and contradicts my preferred values.
In summary, I need to learn to be as caring, understanding, and supportive toward myself as toward other people.
All this may sound very simplistic and unnecessary to state, but maybe reinforcing it in writing here will help.