Yet again...
Apr. 24th, 2003 06:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
urocyonI've been concerned about some things I didn't really want to discuss here, but really appreciated a friend's suggestion that I've just been making up for lost time recently. Not that I hadn't considered this idea, but having someone else voice it actually helped quite a bit. So, thanks. :) Wish I didn't need the reassurance, but I suppose we all do sometimes--don't know why I seem to feel like I need not be merely an island, but a freaking continent. ;)
It seems like I should have learned by now (though perhaps it's better that I haven't, in a way), after Kai and particularly the last ex. Terribly wise in my experience or not, I've become rather fascinated by someone on another continent (which appears to be the word of the day). He's been one of the more interesting people on the periphery for a while, until we started talking on IRC recently and my interest was really piqued. Tonight it became extremely obvious--sometimes I do need to be practically slapped in the face with it--that the attraction is mutual. We wound up talking for almost 3 1/2 hours; even after he called me an "evil temptress" for keeping him up, I was the first to bail at almost 5:30 a.m. there. *g* Intelligent conversation and looks: a difficult combination to beat, at least for drawing my attention initially.
I'm just trying not to worry about the inherent difficulties--I've certainly done enough of that for at least a dozen people combined before--and just enjoy myself. Though it is even more important to me now that I get to CCDE this year. At least now I've been offered a lift from the airport, crashspace, and tent space (with diplomatically repeated assurances of no pressure whatsoever); all were concerns before. Now I need to get things in order and find a decent deal on airfare again--not to mention fax in a ticket order to Clarecraft, since their ordering system has failed with every browser in every OS I've tried (I'd suspected it was just Mozilla-based, but it's not). I'd actually half-decided not to go, out of social anxiety from not knowing many people in person I think (blaming it on lack of funds), but I'm more determined now to scrape together the necessary cash, and there is still time to do so.
It seems like I should have learned by now (though perhaps it's better that I haven't, in a way), after Kai and particularly the last ex. Terribly wise in my experience or not, I've become rather fascinated by someone on another continent (which appears to be the word of the day). He's been one of the more interesting people on the periphery for a while, until we started talking on IRC recently and my interest was really piqued. Tonight it became extremely obvious--sometimes I do need to be practically slapped in the face with it--that the attraction is mutual. We wound up talking for almost 3 1/2 hours; even after he called me an "evil temptress" for keeping him up, I was the first to bail at almost 5:30 a.m. there. *g* Intelligent conversation and looks: a difficult combination to beat, at least for drawing my attention initially.
I'm just trying not to worry about the inherent difficulties--I've certainly done enough of that for at least a dozen people combined before--and just enjoy myself. Though it is even more important to me now that I get to CCDE this year. At least now I've been offered a lift from the airport, crashspace, and tent space (with diplomatically repeated assurances of no pressure whatsoever); all were concerns before. Now I need to get things in order and find a decent deal on airfare again--not to mention fax in a ticket order to Clarecraft, since their ordering system has failed with every browser in every OS I've tried (I'd suspected it was just Mozilla-based, but it's not). I'd actually half-decided not to go, out of social anxiety from not knowing many people in person I think (blaming it on lack of funds), but I'm more determined now to scrape together the necessary cash, and there is still time to do so.
