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Aug. 18th, 2005 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
urocyonA cheapo digital camera (not terrible specs, though) I snarfed off eBay arrived at a decent time yesterday--the kittens ventured out of the library for the first time. Still more pics are available here, along with some not-so-great gardening and older kitty photots. Yes, I had trouble stopping playing with my new toy yesterday. *g*
Since I didn't get around to it yesterday evening, today has been spent in a frenzy of kitten-proofing the rest of the house, especially removing random plastic bags. No, tidiness is not one of my stronger points, and I'm (usually) glad I didn't wind up with a neat freak. :)
Yesterday afternoon, I went by the local Jobcentre Plus, as online sources instruct, to set up an identity-establishing interview so that I can get an NI number. They handed me a poorly-photocopied flyer with a phone number to call; it would have been overly reasonable for them just to list the regional numbers to call on their website. Heading for an evil temp agency seems to be about the most reasonable option to satisfy the "already looking for work" requirement to get the NI number in the first place (seems a bit backward, but oh well). Starting with temp, possibly office, work seems a reasonable option, anyway, given that I lack 25% of a degree and don't have recent work experience.
As I discussed with Ingvar last night, I'm still of at least two minds about going back to work. Extra money would be nice, as would having more opportunity to meet people, but I am still tending to feel overwhelmed as it is. I know it's a common "ADD-type-wiring" complant, but I do keep moving most of the day (one reason I haven't been online much lately), but still have trouble feeling like I've accomplished much around here. Much flapping, little forward motion sort of thing. I haven't even been taking a reasonable number of breaks, spending almost the whole day on my feet lately, trying to prove to myself that I'm not some sort of lazy bum, I think. Getting in a flidge probably leads to less getting done, I know--which is frustrating in itself, since I don't seem to be able to help it, or just accept the way I am without hounding myself mercilessly.
This is frustrating, because I'm acting contrary to the beliefs I think I hold--and was raised with--that pay doesn't determine important work, besides the biggie that each person is different and that's OK and desirable (unless they start infringing on other people's rights, at least). My mother half-jokingly insists I've just been brainwashed by people with skewed values, and I have to agree sometimes. One of the big factors is my near-pathological concern about disappointing people. Rationally, I don't think I'm badly disappointing Ingvar--though I still have trouble reading him sometimes--but the fear still nags.
At any rate, even setting aside the possibility of looking for a job because I've been brainwashed *g*, I am concerned that even less will wind up getting done around here, and the state of the place is distressing me as things stand. I know myself, and even more distractions aren't likely to help the situation. In his experience, things are more likely to get done around the house if there is more of a time limit on doing them, but I don't think that holds true for me. I just get more flustered and flap even harder under time pressure, more frequently winding up spending hours on tangential tasks without finishing the one I started, rather than tending to veg out if I have a free weekend or such.
Ah well, I'll figure something out (and go take some antianxiety meds). Sorry for getting tedious here.
Since I didn't get around to it yesterday evening, today has been spent in a frenzy of kitten-proofing the rest of the house, especially removing random plastic bags. No, tidiness is not one of my stronger points, and I'm (usually) glad I didn't wind up with a neat freak. :)
Yesterday afternoon, I went by the local Jobcentre Plus, as online sources instruct, to set up an identity-establishing interview so that I can get an NI number. They handed me a poorly-photocopied flyer with a phone number to call; it would have been overly reasonable for them just to list the regional numbers to call on their website. Heading for an evil temp agency seems to be about the most reasonable option to satisfy the "already looking for work" requirement to get the NI number in the first place (seems a bit backward, but oh well). Starting with temp, possibly office, work seems a reasonable option, anyway, given that I lack 25% of a degree and don't have recent work experience.
As I discussed with Ingvar last night, I'm still of at least two minds about going back to work. Extra money would be nice, as would having more opportunity to meet people, but I am still tending to feel overwhelmed as it is. I know it's a common "ADD-type-wiring" complant, but I do keep moving most of the day (one reason I haven't been online much lately), but still have trouble feeling like I've accomplished much around here. Much flapping, little forward motion sort of thing. I haven't even been taking a reasonable number of breaks, spending almost the whole day on my feet lately, trying to prove to myself that I'm not some sort of lazy bum, I think. Getting in a flidge probably leads to less getting done, I know--which is frustrating in itself, since I don't seem to be able to help it, or just accept the way I am without hounding myself mercilessly.
This is frustrating, because I'm acting contrary to the beliefs I think I hold--and was raised with--that pay doesn't determine important work, besides the biggie that each person is different and that's OK and desirable (unless they start infringing on other people's rights, at least). My mother half-jokingly insists I've just been brainwashed by people with skewed values, and I have to agree sometimes. One of the big factors is my near-pathological concern about disappointing people. Rationally, I don't think I'm badly disappointing Ingvar--though I still have trouble reading him sometimes--but the fear still nags.
At any rate, even setting aside the possibility of looking for a job because I've been brainwashed *g*, I am concerned that even less will wind up getting done around here, and the state of the place is distressing me as things stand. I know myself, and even more distractions aren't likely to help the situation. In his experience, things are more likely to get done around the house if there is more of a time limit on doing them, but I don't think that holds true for me. I just get more flustered and flap even harder under time pressure, more frequently winding up spending hours on tangential tasks without finishing the one I started, rather than tending to veg out if I have a free weekend or such.
Ah well, I'll figure something out (and go take some antianxiety meds). Sorry for getting tedious here.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 01:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 06:16 pm (UTC)Yay kittens!
(would you like a hand with tidying up? I had help and I ought to spread the joy of someone-else cleaning)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 01:15 pm (UTC)OTOH, I wasn't greatly committed to my course of study before, but more or less fell into it because I've always been good with languages. Starting from scratch (hopefully with any credit I can receive from previous work) isn't out of the question, and may be just about as quick a route--unless I were to go back to a Virginia public university, which probably wouldn't greatly please Ingvar in the foreseeable future. ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 01:25 pm (UTC)We should get together sometime soon, without tidying being involved--just realised how long it's been since I've seen you and Cookie! Missing CCDE bad, taking care of kittens good, though.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 08:38 pm (UTC)And yes, should get together soon.