Social life
Apr. 2nd, 2003 05:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
urocyonI have to question the wisdom of focusing on my social life when so many other areas of my life are, not to put too fine a point on it, a mess. Sure, my health has improved, and I feel more like getting out and doing things, but I could probably use the energy to accomplish something more important. Everything from getting my room and much of the rest of the house more inhabitable to trying to get back into school (and work, when I can handle both) seems to need my attention; mundane things have really been piling up, besides the larger issues I need to address soon. Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to distract myself from dealing with these things through my recent concentration on my social life.
Then again, between poor health and anxiety, I had also let my social life dwindle into almost nothing; had withdrawn to a greater extent than I cared to admit to myself, even. I recognised at the time that this wasn't necessarily the best thing for me, and am glad to be well on my way out of it. Friends and family are very important to me, and I'm a basic extrovert besides. Rebuilding a reasonable social life may be an important thing for me to do now that I seem ready. Besides the more obvious benefits, this might also help me accomplish some of the other things. Extra support is always good; so is dealing with lingering social anxiety which can really get in one's way.
In this situation, I suspect that the real problem doesn't lie in how I've been setting my priorities, but in my perfectionism. If I can do one thing, I expect myself to be able to do everything else equally well, and things just don't work that way. I need to stop beating myself over the head because I'm feeling a little better but still can't tackle everything at once. I ran into this same problem before, particularly intensely, when I was depressed and just coming out of depression. Just because I felt like doing some heavy digging in the garden one day didn't mean that I was up to fixing anything to eat the next. Though I've gotten better at recognising and trying to counter the perfectionistic thinking, it's still there.
It seems most likely that working on my social life is a good idea, as long as I keep some sort of balance and don't completely neglect other things. Looking at it as frivolous seems a little out of whack. Since when was a job required to get out and have some fun, anyway? (Well, other than paying for it... *g*)
Then again, between poor health and anxiety, I had also let my social life dwindle into almost nothing; had withdrawn to a greater extent than I cared to admit to myself, even. I recognised at the time that this wasn't necessarily the best thing for me, and am glad to be well on my way out of it. Friends and family are very important to me, and I'm a basic extrovert besides. Rebuilding a reasonable social life may be an important thing for me to do now that I seem ready. Besides the more obvious benefits, this might also help me accomplish some of the other things. Extra support is always good; so is dealing with lingering social anxiety which can really get in one's way.
In this situation, I suspect that the real problem doesn't lie in how I've been setting my priorities, but in my perfectionism. If I can do one thing, I expect myself to be able to do everything else equally well, and things just don't work that way. I need to stop beating myself over the head because I'm feeling a little better but still can't tackle everything at once. I ran into this same problem before, particularly intensely, when I was depressed and just coming out of depression. Just because I felt like doing some heavy digging in the garden one day didn't mean that I was up to fixing anything to eat the next. Though I've gotten better at recognising and trying to counter the perfectionistic thinking, it's still there.
It seems most likely that working on my social life is a good idea, as long as I keep some sort of balance and don't completely neglect other things. Looking at it as frivolous seems a little out of whack. Since when was a job required to get out and have some fun, anyway? (Well, other than paying for it... *g*)
