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A reconsideration
Mar. 28th, 2003 08:20 pmLast night I made plans to go out tomorrow night with the VMI guy I mentioned in a previous post; I decided that I may not have been fair and that I should give him a chance. (The original post definitely didn't sound fair; the comments provide a little better explanation of my reaction.)
Unfortunately, this does involve driving to Lexington, since it's a miracle if someone at VMI has a car; I'm not sure if they're allowed to, actually. This is closer to a two-and-a-half or three-hour drive, it turns out--I've only really driven by Lexington on the way to and from D.C., maybe stopped there to eat, and hadn't taken good notice of how far past Roanoke it is. At least the guy did seem like he was being flayed mentioning the fact that he has no transportation, and was apologetic, so I don't feel so taken for granted.
One of the reasons I decided to go ahead and give this guy a chance is that I suspect that I did, unconsciously, partially buy into the rubbish about age differences being fine if they go one way but not the other, and was perhaps a little harsh in my initial assessment. I don't know; we may well have more in common than I suspected, and it's certainly worth a shot. And, as I appreciated one friend pointing out, since this guy does seem to be more naive the more I talk to him (and I seriously doubt that it's an act), I am probably more likely to hurt his feelings badly if I just avoid him. I'd prefer not to hurt his feelings without good reason. Of course, this doesn't obligate me to drive up to Lexington, but it doesn't really put me out badly.
It has been rather interesting, learning more about life at VMI from talking to this guy. I knew it was pretty restrictive, but I had no idea. Someone even goes around to check that they're in their rooms on weekend evenings, apparently, and lights out is 1 a.m. on Saturday! I did hear something slightly funny from my mother. Apparently my terribly crusty great-aunt eloped with (now) one of the local doctors so he wouldn't have to go to VMI; it still won't admit married people. They both felt like he was being sent off to prison for four years, so they ran off to North Carolina (where people used to go in situations like that), and didn't go through with it. More amusing if you know the people involved, naturally, but the place still sounds like signing up to live in a state-funded circle of Hell.
Unfortunately, this does involve driving to Lexington, since it's a miracle if someone at VMI has a car; I'm not sure if they're allowed to, actually. This is closer to a two-and-a-half or three-hour drive, it turns out--I've only really driven by Lexington on the way to and from D.C., maybe stopped there to eat, and hadn't taken good notice of how far past Roanoke it is. At least the guy did seem like he was being flayed mentioning the fact that he has no transportation, and was apologetic, so I don't feel so taken for granted.
One of the reasons I decided to go ahead and give this guy a chance is that I suspect that I did, unconsciously, partially buy into the rubbish about age differences being fine if they go one way but not the other, and was perhaps a little harsh in my initial assessment. I don't know; we may well have more in common than I suspected, and it's certainly worth a shot. And, as I appreciated one friend pointing out, since this guy does seem to be more naive the more I talk to him (and I seriously doubt that it's an act), I am probably more likely to hurt his feelings badly if I just avoid him. I'd prefer not to hurt his feelings without good reason. Of course, this doesn't obligate me to drive up to Lexington, but it doesn't really put me out badly.
It has been rather interesting, learning more about life at VMI from talking to this guy. I knew it was pretty restrictive, but I had no idea. Someone even goes around to check that they're in their rooms on weekend evenings, apparently, and lights out is 1 a.m. on Saturday! I did hear something slightly funny from my mother. Apparently my terribly crusty great-aunt eloped with (now) one of the local doctors so he wouldn't have to go to VMI; it still won't admit married people. They both felt like he was being sent off to prison for four years, so they ran off to North Carolina (where people used to go in situations like that), and didn't go through with it. More amusing if you know the people involved, naturally, but the place still sounds like signing up to live in a state-funded circle of Hell.
