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Not moving after all, and glad not to be flying
Good news, in a way: it looks like we're staying put in London, after all the stress and fuss. Prospective Employer has at least given a verbal offer with a starting date (in January) now, and he felt like it was firm enough to announce.
Which, although we were planning to relocate to Dublin by train and ferry, brings me around to the TSA mess. I am very, very glad that no further flying will be necessary in the foreseeable future, especially into and out of the US. (We were originally supposed to move to the Bay Area, and I did not feel like I could reasonably refuse.) It will take very special circumstances indeed to get me back into an airport, and that's with my whole family across the Atlantic. I am really not looking forward to the levels of alienation that might result if something should happen to my grandmother. I'm honestly not sure I could force myself to venture into an airport.
As I observed earlier this year (in the last note):
BTW, I am sort of glad on a personal level that the TSA is so resistant to going down the much-touted 'Israelification' of airports: High security, little bother road, as linked to from a comment on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sparkindarkness's On the TSA and the violation of air passengers LJ-version comments. Somehow, I imagine that the success of security there depends on more than "'look[ing] into your eyes ... and that's how you figure out the bad guys from the good guys.'" Erm, yeah, and get a bunch of not-really-very-suspicious autistics and people from cultures with very different eye contact and body language patterns gumming up your efficient security. Yeah, I'm sure it works better as actually used, but with some of the emphasis in that description? Can't imagine that would. Besides my being personally screwed. :)
On a good day, I'm the monkey, and that's before anyone tries to touch me:
In airport situations, I'm kind of amazed I haven't bitten anyone yet. Biting is not good, but neither is the way they frequently deal with customers.
None of the personal concerns have changed (except I am, if anything, having more tics lately), but even more petty tyrant behavior and anxiety from that has been thrown in. Which makes me even more concerned about melting down and maybe starting bellowing, screeching, and hitting people I shouldn't if they touch me. Especially since I have gotten patted down more than randomly flying in the US, since both my knees are held together with screws--and I'm not sure I could do the expected deferential body language if I tried. I have seen some excellent points raised about the added distress for sexual assault/abuse survivors (and trans* people). Below are a couple of links talking about that.
Unfortunately, I can see the forecast in one comment on No, Thanks. I Guess I'll Just Never Go Anywhere., at Shakesville, as entirely too plausible:
BTW, for some of the reasons I can see this happening, see Kate Harding's An Airline Rant That Does Not Involve Fat. Your business is tanking, so what do you do? 'I really don’t see how “Treat customers like shit and offer an utterly miserable experience, relying on all of our competitors to suck just as badly and a certain number of people to fly anyway” is a winning business strategy.' And, no, that's not just about the airlines (which do largely treat customers like crap), but the whole flying experience. Throw in the authoritarianism, and certain institutions involved would rather scuttle travel for the majority of the population, and just keep putting on more and more elaborate security theatre performances, than admit that anything they've ever done might possibly have been wrong. (Groping little kids to make a point? Pfft.) Seriously. I have trouble with the "oh, protest enough and refuse to fly and they'll see reason", because anything resembling reason went out the window there years ago.
Back to the PTSD-related stuff, there's also one at The Wild Hunt, PNC-Minnesota: Rape Survivor Devastated by TSA Enhanced Pat Down.
I found the regular patdowns--not even the "let's use a more intrusive kind to try to humiliate anyone who refuses the scanners" kind--a bit triggering from that kind of survivor perspective. But, one commenter there puts a finger on an aspect I find even more disturbing (and which makes me more likely to have the kind of violent PTSD reaction that will get me arrested):
I'm not sure about the first part of that sentence, but yeah. It's the same kind of bad institutional behavior, trying to control people through threats of humiliation and violence of one kind or another. Getting herded around an airport under not-so-subtle threats, dehumanized at pretty much every opportunity, and punitively "searched"/intrusively touched is very much like being locked up "for your own good" in a psych hospital. (US prisons don't even bother to pretend it's for your benefit and safety--not that I've ever been in one.) I have been punitively treated in the same kinds of ways in hospital settings as a minor (not only psych, either), and felt if anything more violated and helpless from those abuses of power than from blatant sexual assault by individuals who don't actually have that institution-backed level of power over other individuals. I am still amazed that the majority of the travelling public have put up with it to the extent that they have.
But, a friend also pointed out the Milgram experiment; then there's the Asch conformity experiments and Carney Landis: The Scourge of Rats Everywhere. My own experiences (and who knows, maybe neurology) have made me very demand resistant and distrusting of authority-for-authority's-sake. On one level, I understand the motivations there, but on most others, I just boggle.
And another good observation from the comments at The Wild Hunt:
Unfortunately, that does seem to be just about all the explanation of dynamics required in a lot of cases. See also the Stanford Prison Experiment--people who did not start out behaving like petty tyrants will do so, under the right "Us vs. Them" institutional conditions. And what have you got to hide, anyway? *facepalm*
Overall, this sounds very pessimistic, but I truly can't see the situation improving anytime soon. What I can see is the TSA-as-institution escalating things as people make more noise about the kind of treatment they're getting, to show that they can.
Which, although we were planning to relocate to Dublin by train and ferry, brings me around to the TSA mess. I am very, very glad that no further flying will be necessary in the foreseeable future, especially into and out of the US. (We were originally supposed to move to the Bay Area, and I did not feel like I could reasonably refuse.) It will take very special circumstances indeed to get me back into an airport, and that's with my whole family across the Atlantic. I am really not looking forward to the levels of alienation that might result if something should happen to my grandmother. I'm honestly not sure I could force myself to venture into an airport.
As I observed earlier this year (in the last note):
I still really freaking hate flying. (This is another of those You Don’t Get It situations.) It’s overloading in so many ways; the time pressure is awful for someone with as fluid a sense of time as I have; I get claustrophobic in a huge flying bus that can’t stop and let you off; my muscle spasms go crazy even if I get up and move around as often as possible, so not only am I in bad pain and afraid I’m getting DVT instead of leg cramps, I can barely walk for several days on the other end; and I am frankly terrified of having to deal with security because somebody thinks I’m acting weird (which only increases the “suspicious” behavior from stress). These days, you can also throw in being unable to get up at all (much less to pee while diabetic) during the last hour, and more restrictions on using an mp3 player or other electronics to cope with the stress. I was almost more concerned about the idea of flying to California from London than about all the stressful details of moving there!
Getting some antianxiety meds–which helps the stress-amplified tics, besides the painful muscle spasms–has helped immensely before, and I might feel a little better with an NAS alert card just in case security takes too much interest. This may be complicated by never having gotten an official diagnosis to back that up, having wanted just to keep away from mental health professionals now that I can avoid them. But, it might make me feel less stressed about the idea of getting hassled while totally unable to make any kind of intelligent accounting for myself. I have never been bothered by security, luckily. I was glad Nigel was with me when I did start melting down one time–on a fairly short-haul trip [within Europe]–because security and the flight attendant obviously just assumed we’d been having a knock-down, drag-out fight. Tacky behavior, but not scary. That experience still scared the hell out of me, because it could easily have gone so differently.
BTW, I am sort of glad on a personal level that the TSA is so resistant to going down the much-touted 'Israelification' of airports: High security, little bother road, as linked to from a comment on
sparkindarkness's On the TSA and the violation of air passengers LJ-version comments. Somehow, I imagine that the success of security there depends on more than "'look[ing] into your eyes ... and that's how you figure out the bad guys from the good guys.'" Erm, yeah, and get a bunch of not-really-very-suspicious autistics and people from cultures with very different eye contact and body language patterns gumming up your efficient security. Yeah, I'm sure it works better as actually used, but with some of the emphasis in that description? Can't imagine that would. Besides my being personally screwed. :)On a good day, I'm the monkey, and that's before anyone tries to touch me:
In airport situations, I'm kind of amazed I haven't bitten anyone yet. Biting is not good, but neither is the way they frequently deal with customers.
None of the personal concerns have changed (except I am, if anything, having more tics lately), but even more petty tyrant behavior and anxiety from that has been thrown in. Which makes me even more concerned about melting down and maybe starting bellowing, screeching, and hitting people I shouldn't if they touch me. Especially since I have gotten patted down more than randomly flying in the US, since both my knees are held together with screws--and I'm not sure I could do the expected deferential body language if I tried. I have seen some excellent points raised about the added distress for sexual assault/abuse survivors (and trans* people). Below are a couple of links talking about that.
Unfortunately, I can see the forecast in one comment on No, Thanks. I Guess I'll Just Never Go Anywhere., at Shakesville, as entirely too plausible:
My suspicion is that flying is soon going to cease being a sustainable method of mass transit within the US, for reasons just like these. Instead, it's going to return to being the privilege of the wealthy, the way it was when powered flight first became possible. A loss for people who find flying a good way to keep in touch with family and friends, and a big loss for the large airlines. But you'll all be safer in the end, right?
BTW, for some of the reasons I can see this happening, see Kate Harding's An Airline Rant That Does Not Involve Fat. Your business is tanking, so what do you do? 'I really don’t see how “Treat customers like shit and offer an utterly miserable experience, relying on all of our competitors to suck just as badly and a certain number of people to fly anyway” is a winning business strategy.' And, no, that's not just about the airlines (which do largely treat customers like crap), but the whole flying experience. Throw in the authoritarianism, and certain institutions involved would rather scuttle travel for the majority of the population, and just keep putting on more and more elaborate security theatre performances, than admit that anything they've ever done might possibly have been wrong. (Groping little kids to make a point? Pfft.) Seriously. I have trouble with the "oh, protest enough and refuse to fly and they'll see reason", because anything resembling reason went out the window there years ago.
Back to the PTSD-related stuff, there's also one at The Wild Hunt, PNC-Minnesota: Rape Survivor Devastated by TSA Enhanced Pat Down.
I found the regular patdowns--not even the "let's use a more intrusive kind to try to humiliate anyone who refuses the scanners" kind--a bit triggering from that kind of survivor perspective. But, one commenter there puts a finger on an aspect I find even more disturbing (and which makes me more likely to have the kind of violent PTSD reaction that will get me arrested):
If it is made absolutely clear that their profits drop with more TSA invasive maneuvers, they might have to treat you like a customer again, instead of like an inmate in an asylum.
I'm not sure about the first part of that sentence, but yeah. It's the same kind of bad institutional behavior, trying to control people through threats of humiliation and violence of one kind or another. Getting herded around an airport under not-so-subtle threats, dehumanized at pretty much every opportunity, and punitively "searched"/intrusively touched is very much like being locked up "for your own good" in a psych hospital. (US prisons don't even bother to pretend it's for your benefit and safety--not that I've ever been in one.) I have been punitively treated in the same kinds of ways in hospital settings as a minor (not only psych, either), and felt if anything more violated and helpless from those abuses of power than from blatant sexual assault by individuals who don't actually have that institution-backed level of power over other individuals. I am still amazed that the majority of the travelling public have put up with it to the extent that they have.
But, a friend also pointed out the Milgram experiment; then there's the Asch conformity experiments and Carney Landis: The Scourge of Rats Everywhere. My own experiences (and who knows, maybe neurology) have made me very demand resistant and distrusting of authority-for-authority's-sake. On one level, I understand the motivations there, but on most others, I just boggle.
And another good observation from the comments at The Wild Hunt:
As for private screenings? If you're behind a curtain or a door, someone is very likely to have you get naked.
So why is the TSA all about naked-or-grope? Would you like to get naked or be groped? People talk about how nobody wants to see you naked, but when it comes down to it, yes they do. And punitive groping, as described above? Just another rush of power for the people with arbitrary levels of authority.
Petty tyrants don't have to hurt you, they just like to.
Unfortunately, that does seem to be just about all the explanation of dynamics required in a lot of cases. See also the Stanford Prison Experiment--people who did not start out behaving like petty tyrants will do so, under the right "Us vs. Them" institutional conditions. And what have you got to hide, anyway? *facepalm*
Overall, this sounds very pessimistic, but I truly can't see the situation improving anytime soon. What I can see is the TSA-as-institution escalating things as people make more noise about the kind of treatment they're getting, to show that they can.
no subject
And that's without any additional concerns, of which there are zillions. I'm lucky in one respect which is that the progression of my movement disorder makes my reflexive violence basically never happen anymore. Not in a long time. And (especially coupled with wheelchairs) I look so unusual by now that they never expect much normal behavior out of me anymore. They don't even expect me to understand them. So the eye contact is less of a problem. Usually. The trouble is usually more of getting them to see me as enough of a person to avoid them doing a bunch of nasty unpleasant crap on THAT end of things.
I don't want to know what they would make of my pissing implant though, nor what it would make of their security scanners (which have been known to cause malfunctions in such implants, which could range from just turning it off and making me incapable of peeing, to for all I know turning it up until it's shooting flaming-spikes-of-death level pain down my nerves). The manufacturers did give me a card to show to airport personnel, because it's a problem for lots of people when electronics are discovered in their buttocks either by patdown or scanning. But I don't plan on having to test it.
Oh yeah and there's stuff that's happened to disabled friends in airports that I don't want to try. Like being wheeled onto planes with straps around their necks while unable to speak well enough to object. Just... I won't go to an airport again unless it's the only way to save my life (and it had better do so because I don't want to RISK my life on airplanes). It boggles me that they don't have mandatory wheelchair seating, or any way for a person to lay down if they can't sit up that long. Too many things to go wrong too many ways.